Wednesday, June 29, 2011

pinkribbonformama.wordpress.com - a site dedicated for Mama with stage 4 breast cancer

Hi everyone. I have not done any blog or less write ups with blogspot lately, though I have saved everything on my draft. I am pre-occupied with other very important matters. I am writing updates about Mama's cancer at my pinkribbonformama.wordpress.com. This new site is dedicated to mama's day to day journey as she battles with breast cancer.

You can visit pinkribbonformama.wordpress.com for updates about mama's condition.

Thank you for taking time to read my simple blog. God bless.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Body massage at Nuat Thai

June 25, 2011 - So tired. My feet and legs were still aching from the 3 days walk in Hong Kong and Macau. I decided to have a good body massage. The budget massage parlor I used to visit is a bit far from my place. So I went to Nuat Thai in F. Cabahug st., Mabolo for a good rubdown. This was my 2nd visit since I arrived from Saudi for my annual vacation. I had the dry massage that time. I love the stretching, missed it a lot.


I had the package 2 - whole body massage (Swedish) and foot reflex for an hour and 45 minutes. The therapist asked me if I want soft, medium or hard massage. As I really felt the soreness and stiffness of my calf muscles, I had the hard massage. Uggghh. I can feel my calf muscles bigger than before huhuhuhu.

I love the leg and back massage. Feels so relaxing. Many times, the strokes were a bit painful specially on the thigh area where my cellulite got a the shock of their lives. oohhh really painful. ouch ouch ouch. I just covered my face to hide the pain from the therapist. I kept my composure under the painful strokes of the therapist until the last second of the 1 hour and 45 minutes massage.

It's been a year since I had a good body rub down. Oh, not really a year, because my honeybunch gave me a good massage few months ago, though not the professional style. But he was a fast learner and was able to learn quickly some body massage techniques from me.

In Saudi, If I felt so tired and muscles were aching, I just give myself a massage as nobody else can do that for me there. If I go to massage parlors, it would be very expensive. So better save every Riyals and have a good massage from one of the many massage parlors in Cebu.

Their prices are reasonable:


foot massage 1 hour - P150.00
body massage 1 hour - P150.00
body massage 2 hours - P300.00
head massage 30 mins - P100.00
back massage 30 mins - P100.00
swedish massage 1 hour - P250.00
aromatherapy massage
    1 hour and 30 mins - P350.00
full body oil massage
    1 hour P250.00
    2 hours P500.00
Business hours: 10:30 A.M. to 11:00 P.M.


Please note that I am not paid in any kind by Nuat Thai for this blog.

Friday, June 24, 2011

A penny for my thoughts - There's always a reason for everything - part 1

I have a handful of friends who also availed of Cebu Pacific's sale seat last February 25, 2011 for Hong Kong. Unfortunately, none of our schedules were the same. It's like one will fly now, the other one the next day and my schedule was on the following day.

A friend named Ian Ray Cruz was bound for Hong Kong on the 18th of June while me and my daughter on the 19th of June 2011.

My daughter and I were sitting at the waiting lounge waiting for the check-in counter of Cebu Pacific to open. After sometime, I saw a familiar face at the airport. I looked at him in disbelief as I thought he was off to Hong Kong the day before. Ian approached us and said he was not able to get on the scheduled flight for many immigration concerns. In short, he was offloaded and was trying his luck the following day. 

He was looking for us hoping to see me and might be able to help him with this concern. The immigration officer were asking him documents to support his travel. Like invitation from her girlfriend, where he's going to stay, and others.

After we paid the travel tax and terminal fee, we went to queue again for the immigration check. The immigration officer asked me few questions like, who am I travelling with, where will I stay in HK.  When asked who was the guy with us, I told her, he is a friend who will also have a holiday in Hong Kong and just happened to meet at the airport. The other immigration officer saw him and said, you were the one who got offloaded yesterday, were you able to get the necessary documents?

After she recognizes the face of Ian, the immigration officer then took again my passport and asked me if I'm coming back to Cebu. How ridiculous, of course, I'm just going to Hong Kong for a 3 days holiday with my daughter. One question lead to few more questions. Where do you work? I am an OFW and working in Saudi Arabia, I replied. They gave a stern look on my face and throw another question.  Where is your ticket back to Saudi? I did not bring my ticket for Saudi because I am not going to Saudi yet, I am going to Hong Kong, I replied.  Why you did not bring your Saudi ticket with you? she asked again. Why should I bring it? If I will bring my ticket it might get lost and it will be a big problem then, I  retorted. Do you have your OEC (overseas employment certificate) ? I have but it's not with me, it's in the house. If you want to see if I'm really an OFW, you check my passport, my return visa is attached there, I replied. They then checked my passport where at the last page, they saw this note from POEA re my advance payments and the receipt number.  After seeing those notes with my employer's name on it, they then said, we hope you understand why we asked you these questions because many are going out as tourists but are actually trying to work abroad. Also, we are in the hunt for human traffickers. They then stamped our passports and handed it back to us. It's ok, no harm done, I replied.

It was Ian's turn to be grilled again by the Immigration officers. Even if he was able to comply with documents that what was asked of him he was still on the hot seat. To make the long story short, I vouch for his return back to Cebu after 3 days of stay by filling up a guarantor form. After all the necessary documents were properly documented, Ian's passport was stamped and off we go to Hong Kong.

Bonding time with my daugther - Hong Kong and Macau trip

June 19, 2011, 7 p.m. at Cebu Mactan International Airport bound for Hong Kong via Cebu Pacific Air flight 5J 238, ETD 2215H.

There were two reasons for my daughter to get super excited. First, this would be her first plane ride. Second, her first trip abroad.

Krystal at gate 6 ready to board Cebu Pacific Air bound for Hong Kong
Unfortunately, my mother was not able to go with us because of her condition. She is not fit to travel and is having radiation treatment for her bone cancer.

mother and daughter bonding
All throughout our flight, Krystal was just sleeping with her MP3 on.  I thought she will get scared specially when there were turbulence. But she was so composed and no complains whatsoever.

This Hong Kong vacation was a promise I made to myself and to my daughter.  Thank you Lord God for making my dream a reality despite all the struggles I am facing at the moment.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

A penny for the my thoughts - back to Cebu from Hong Kong and Macau trip

Thank God, my daughter and I arrived safely in Cebu at 4:10 am from our Hong Kong vacation. Weather wise, our timing was not that pretty good as it was so hot but raining the next couple of days because of the typhoon.

Didn't took much pictures of Hong Kong city and its skyscraper buildings as we were at the Ocean Park on the first day and watched the symphony of lights in the evening. I have no idea on what to expect in Macau but still we went there on our second day. It was very hard to communicate with the Chinese people as only few understand and speak english, the universal language. But good thing another universal language is applicable and availabe in times of distress and emergency - the sign language. Third day was at the Disneyland. It was a pretty wet Disneyland tour. Raining the whole day because of the signal number 3 typhoon. But that did not stop my daughter to enjoy what the theme park has to offer. Even I was amazed how nice Disneyland was. For few hours, I was like a child again. Bonding and enjoying a few carefree hours with my daughter.

My next few blogs will be about our Hong Kong and Macau trip. For the meantime, I will have to refuel a bit and recharge myself.

Thank you Lord God for the opportunity to see a part of the world I live in and for taking us safely back to my beloved Cebu.

See you soon guys...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

A penny for my thoughts - things to do while on vacation

Today, I'm having a bad migraine and irritated itchy eyes. So, I stayed home and did not go with mama to the hospital for her 2nd day of radiation as I feel so light-headed. I don't know if this is due to jet lag or no enough sleep or both.

My daughter was asking me to cook for her everyday baon and breakfast. I wake up at 3:30 a.m. or say, still awake by 3 a.m., cooks her baon and have breakfast with her at 4:30 a.m. Wonder why so early? She is studying at YLAC. They should be at school by 6:00 a.m. for the rosary.

By 8:00 a.m., I should be set to go with mama to the hospital for the radiation. Since I am not feeling well today, I stayed at home and might go to Patria de Cebu for a good foot reflexology.

I know I should find time for myself and squeeze in the things that I wanted to do while I am here in Cebu. 

Things to do: (supposedly)
1)  whole body massage (have done 1 session already  but body is still aching for more)
2)  foot reflexology
3)  facial (wanted to try 24k facial but I did not find one yet. But even if there is, I should be practical and not indulge at this time as I need extra money for mama's treatment and my dad's oxygen)
4)  exercise at the gym (wanted to try boxing but wala na yata sa budget, so X nalang ito)
5)  belly dancing at Cebu City Sports Complex
6)  food trip (visit my fave restaurants, kainan, etc - went to Persian Palate (will blog this one soon), Ngohiong Express, Chowking, Biano's Pizza, Yogoboy)
7)  photography
8)  HK trip (will be there with my daughter)
9)  beach with family (hopefully soon)
10) bonding with mama
11) manicure, pedicure, foot spa, hair treatment, etc
12) meet with friends
13) bring mama to healing sessions (as per her request)
14) bonding with daughter (pictorial with her, violin lesson)
15) yoga
16) visit wellness with mama for some detoxification
17)  clean my room and throw those which I don't need anymore
18)  church
19)  cemetery (Visit loved ones)
20)  create a blog site dedicated for mama's battle with cancer (created the site but no entry yet. Need to transfer the previous blogs to this new page.)
21)  blog, blog, blog

So many things I want to do, so little time I have to materialize all these.  I guess, only food trip is the one that is so accessible to my schedule. (Eyebrows down please...)

It doesn't matter if I can't do all of these. There is always a next time.  What matters most is that I have spent time with my family and my daughter. And I am building memories with Mama.

Mama's 1st day of radiation treatment for her bone cancer

June 15, 2011 was Mama's first day to receive radiation treatment. I wanted to go inside the radiation room to document the treatment but I was not allowed inside. She mentioned that this time, radiation took more time than the one she had last year. They had it on the front (chest bone) and on the sides.  And she felt the heat and burning sensation on her chest.  I told her, don't worry, we will just buy a burnt ointment cream to alleviate the burning sensation.

After the treatment, we ate at Julie's fast food of Cebu Doctor's Hospital. Mama had her ever favorite fruit salad and lugaw. I had sapin-sapin and lugaw and my sister-in-law had her brazo de mercedes.

Also, we received a call from the travel agency that the passports of Mama and my daughter were already available. That means Hong Kong trip is just around the corner.  Unfortunately, Mama can't go with us because of her condition. 

Few weeks ago, Mama was very lively and excited of the Hong Kong trip.  This should have been her first travel abroad. Upon knowing of their passport's availability, I can see the disappointment on her face knowing she might not be able to join us.

I have with me the Mama's "NOT FIT TO TRAVEL" letter from the doctor.  I asked Mama, do you think you can make it this Sunday? How do you feel? Do you still feel that so much pain?  Mama replied, let's see because it's still on Sunday, maybe I will be ok by that time and can join you and Krystal.The positive attitude in Mama is still intact despite her struggles and battle against cancer. I know she was so looking forward for this Hong Kong travel but her health condition might not allow her to walk around and enjoy the place.  She was looking forward to see the light show in the evening and the Disneyland.

To appease the disappointment in her, I then suggested, why don't we go to the beach and stay there for a night? Mama's face beamed and said, that's nice because you know, I guess me, your dad and Nanay (grandmother) need fresh air, the sea breeze and this and that.

With the tight budget I am having now, I am still working on how to juggle the finances so just to accomodate everything.  My daughter and I will push through the Hong Kong trip because this is my birthday gift to her, a visit to Disneyland and ocean park.

I have only one body, with 2 hands, the left and the right. I don't want to hold them up high because by doing so, it means I gave up and surrender on the trials God has challenged me. Maybe, I will just clap them softly one, two, three and praise God for all the blessings that come our way.  Specially, those that comes my way.

Thank you Lord God for the TLC.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Mama's first day of radiation

June 14, 2011 Mama met with Dr. Philip Larazabal of Cebu Doctor's Hospital's Diagnostic Imaging and Radiation Oncology. First day was dedicated for CT scan (head/brain plain), treatment planning & dosimetry, mapping and discussion with the doctor. Mama will have a minimum of 20 days of radiation treatment.

Dr. Larazabal noted that the radiation will not include the lungs as it cannot reach the lung area. He advises for another round of chemotherapy but mama declined and as per her Oncologist's advice too due to her condition.

Dr. Larazabal pointed out that the radiation procedure is much different from the previous one as this will be specific for the bone cancer.This procedure avoids hitting the heart during radiation. Unlike the ordinary one that radiation may hit healthy cells around the area.

Mama was a bit tense. I guess she was scared as the last radiation she had, she got unconscious for almost 8 hours. Nothing was injected to mama of yesterday's CT scan. According to mama, during mapping, there was something that was placed on her chest that felt hot. During the CT scan, that equipment was placed again on her chest. (I'm not sure of the name of that thing placed on her chest)

I thought it will be the same cost as before but I was so shocked to see the computation though the doctor warned us already of the different fee.

The ordinary radiation treatment costing is as follows:

Simulation and planning    =   Php   4,250.00
Simulation and Replanning =  Php   4,250.00
Thermoplast mask            =   Php   3,715.00
Center's fee                      =   Php      800.00
Center's fee replan            =   Php      800.00
X-ray plate                       =  Php       200.00

Daily treatment :
Radiation treatment           = Php     1,200.00
Center's fee                      = Php        350.00


Mama's radiation treatment cost is as follows:

CT simulation (refer to CT scan section)    = Php   4,300.00
Treatment Planning & Dosimetry        =  Php 18,150.00
Planning/ Replanning Fee                           =  Php   6,000.00

Daily treatment:
Radiation treatment                                   =  Php 1,200.00
Center's Fee                                             =            350.00

I thought we were going to pay the 6,800.00 pesos only so I changed my Riyals just enough for the week's treatment and for other utility bills. Since, I was caught off guard by the fee, I used my ever "just in case of emergency" plastic - the credit card for the treament planning. We paid Php 28,450.00 for the first day only.

Dr. Larazabal was kind so enough to give us Php 1,000.00 discount after I requested the receptionist to ask the doctor for some discount of his professional fee.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Get together with a good old family friend - the Honorio family

June 12, 2011. I invited the Honorio family, a family friend for lunch. As it was an unexpected invite from me, I went to the wet market early morning at 5:00 a.m. to buy whatever I can for the salo-salo (get together).

I grilled pork belly, my brother cooked larang, bought ngohiong and lechon manok. Desert were 2 gallons of selecta ice cream courtesy of one of my brother, the yummy mango of Cebu and the good old ice cold RC cola (as this was the only available soft drinks at the store of my cousin) completed our lunch . The get together was fun, chitchat here and there. My dad was so happy to see the family again after say, 10 years? not sure really but more or less in that span of time. Mama was happy to see the family too.

I had no enough sleep that time, still having jet lag but the salo-salo with an good old family friend was worth it.

I am very happy of the emotional support the family extended to us. Coming to our house for a simple get together is more than I can ask for as they made my parents happy to see them again.

It was just so unfortunate that with all my high-tech cameras, none was able to document the event as they were too busy eating and chitchatting. I was too busy to remember too. Sigh.. Anyhow, there's always a next time for everything, isn't it?

I'm home Mama. I love you

I had a good sleep today. My concentration is better now compared to few days ago when I got back in Cebu and with lesser jet lag.


June 10, 2011, Cathay Pacific Airlines touched down at Mactan Cebu International Airport at 7:15 p.m. My brother and his family together with my daughter picked me up at the airport. It was already 8:30 p.m. so we went straight to Chong Hua Hospital as we might not be allowed to enter the hospital if we go after 10 p.m.

Mama was lying on her hospital bed wearing a smile on her face when she saw me. She looks better now after few days of excruciating pain. I kiss the hand and forehead of mama. How are you? I asked her. then I jokingly told her, you looked better now, you don't even looked like you are sick. I guess you just want me here sooner than soonest, isn't it? Hmmm I should have posed beside the Merlion now, she smiled.


There was only 1 small bed in the room so I decided to go home and take some rest and just return the next day. Earlier that day, my sister-in-law asked the doctor if we can be discharged as mama was able to tolerate the pain at that time. Request granted. The next day, Saturday, we checked out of the hospital. We arrived home past 1 p.m. I went to SM supermarket to buy some groceries and fruits and to the pharmacy for her medicines.


Mama's CT scan result will be available on June 13, 2011.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

At the lowest point of my life - (battling breast cancer with Mama)

Today, I must be at the lowest point of my life. No sleep since last night. Eyes swollen from crying. Around 4:00 a.m. Riyadh time, I was informed that Mama was already admitted at Chong Hua Hospital. She cannot bear the pain anymore. Her right chest bone where the breast cancer metastasized was giving her this unbearable pain she is experiencing now. A slight movement, a simple sigh is already a torture for her.

When I knew she was already settled in her room, I phoned my brother hoping to talk to mama. Words failed mama and the only sound she can produce was a painful, groaning sound. It tears my heart apart hearing mama's painful voice. It is a different scenario when you hear, see and witness a relative, specially your mother suffering from a killer disease than just hearing stories from other people. It is so hard for me considering I am miles away from her. I cannot even give Mama the healing touch of a daughter.

The pain-killer administered intravenously to mama does not do her good anymore. The excruciating pain is like killing mama slowly. My Aunt Ida, a doctor based in Germany, advised that mama's current pain-killer be changed to morphine, a stronger pain killer, as soon as possible.

I remember Mama's best friend Nang Nimfa who happens to be my wedding Godmother was struck by this deadly disease, breast cancer. She had stage 3 breast cancer when it was detected. Mastectomy to both breasts was done. One day, while on her way to the hospital for a chemotherapy session, the taxi she was riding on jumped when it hit a pothole in the road. After that, she felt numbness and was shocked to realize that she cannot move her legs and body. After a thorough laboratory tests, it was then she knew her breast cancer has metastasized to the bone, actually her spinal column, paralyzing her. She stayed in the hospital most of her remaining days, very skinny and fragile. She lost the battle to breast cancer a year after that taxi incident .

I lost a good friend to cancer. She was my office mate before and was on her late 50's. Days before she succumbed to breast cancer, she was so lively, talkative, pretending as if everything was alright with her . Friday, she did not report to work. Few days after, we visited her at the hospital not knowing that would be our first and last visit. We bade goodbye to her to go back to work. surrounded by her family, she breathed her last .

When Mama's oncologist spilled the beans to us, that Mama will have 6 months to a year to live, I hardly can't believe him. You are lying, I told doctor. He was lying, only God knows what will happen. It's like we are racing against time to get mama healed of this cruel disease only to realize that life is not ours to keep. It is hard to accept things like this, in this kind of situation. Maybe, God gave us time to be with Mama, time to prepare ourselves of the unexpected. Time to ask forgiveness of all the pain we gave Mama all these years. To show Mama our love and appreciation for all the things she has done for us. To give back to Mama the love and care she showered upon us when we were still young and even until we are grown-ups. Time to look back and appreciate that undying love of mama to her children.

The only thing that we can do the most for mama is to be at her side and support her emotionally. Maybe this can at least lessen the pain she is experiencing now. And let her know that everything will be alright. Everything will be fine because God loves her so much and will not abandon her because we trust in God's love and mercy.

I am glad that I have friends who showed their emotional support to me and my family. I am glad I have my family to be with during this crucial time. I am glad I have my best friend, my LOML with me who is always there to give me emotional support and encouragement eventhough we are continents away.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Hold on Mama, please. (Mama has metastatic breast cancer stage IV)

I will be home in the Philippines soon, availing my annual vacation. The excitement I felt the past few days turned into some sort of unfathomable sadness, helplessness and despair. I have lined up activities for us specially the Hong Kong trip although their passports were still not yet released until now but we were not losing hope.

Early this year, me and mama's Oncologist discussed on things and possibilities. I mentioned to the doctor about mama's unwillingness to go further treatment and laboratory tests as last January while having her MRI, she had a mild attack (doctors said it was mild heart attack) and was unconscious for 8 hours. From there, she declined all laboratory tests and said, she will only do so if I am there with her.

The Oncologist told me, just give what your mother wants at this time. If she wants to go to places and if you have the means then go. So I told the doctor, I will go home in May or June but he said, that is too far, why don't you do it now? When your mother still has the strength to appreciate the vacation. I told him I can't because my vacation is on May. Then he said, May or June might be too late for her. As for her condition, you will see she is A ok now, but you don't know what will happen the next day. (the doctor said she will have a year or less than a year to be with us) I did not believe the doctor and told him, she will be fine doc. I was so positive that Mama will be fine and can make the planned holiday I was preparing for her.

The succeeding discussions I had with the doctor, he told me that these days, we will just focus on how to relieve or alleviate the pain she is experiencing. 

Lately, Mama's condition is getting worst. I know she is hiding something from me every time I call her.  She always wear a smile and says don't worry about me I am fine and I am healthy. Always carrying the positive attitude with her. Few days ago, she was not able to talk to me on the phone because she was confined to her bed and was complaining of pain on her chest where the bone cancer is located. (Mama has stage IV breast cancer that has metastasized to her bone and recently to both lungs)

Today, I called up and asked her about what she felt. It's only now that I knew that she can't get out of bed without the help of someone and even need assistance in changing her clothes.  Raising her hand is already an effort for her. Her pain reliever is not doing good to her anymore too. She has to increase the dosage or change it to a more stronger one.

For months and years, I have been trying and searching the internet for clinics that offer free or less medical fees for patients with cancer. I knew that Singapore have good clinics in terms of cancer and that is one reason why I wanted to go to Singapore.To check on whether I can get some help or some medicines or just anything to relieve her pain.

They said bone cancer is one of the most painful cancer one has to endure. Though some said, even if I am facing this kind of crisis, I also need to unwind to release stress.

Many people find me as a strong person.  Having a positive attitude is helpful but it is easier said that done when you are actually in the middle of this bout with cancer. I always project myself with a smile and a positive attitude. But what they don't actually know is that I am dying inside.

Mama, please hold on. I love you Mama.



Saturday, June 4, 2011

Ananda Marga Wellness Center - Mandaue City, Cebu, Philippines

I have since been experiencing allergic rhinitis and other illnesses even before coming to Saudi Arabia. Medicines are quite expensive these days so I tried alternative medicines. And one of which I tried before in the Philippines was detoxification. I read a lot of articles about how to do DIY detox or having detox at the comfort of our home.

I was on my 3rd day of fruit juice detox at home when I bumped into Ananda Marga Wellness Center page on the internet about wellness and detoxification. I was more delighted to know that it was actually in Green view village, Pagsabungan, Mandaue City.  The city next to Cebu City. I did not waste time and enrolled myself where I continued my detox program. I stayed for the weekend.

An in-house nurse checked on me after which, a tailored program based on the findings were given to me. I have insomnia, allergies, fatigue, body pain and the tenderness on my knee (I am not that old, ok).


My program started at 6:00 in the morning with steam bath,  mud pack, lecture, exercise, yoga,  colonema, meditation, prayer and intake of fruit juice only. I retire to bed at 9 in the evening after a walk around the village. As Ananda Marga is a vegetarian, fruit and fruit juice only wellness center, you will not find meat of any kind during mealtime. The center treats those who enter the wellness center as students and not patients.


lecture time



Dada Dharmavedananda( in orange) is a naturopathic therapist and yoga master
yoga time


PROGRAM RATE includes food, room and treatments


Program title/number of days                                           Local rate
                                                                   Private room                Shared room



Introduction to natural healing & yoga      Non AC: P4,500.00        Non AC: 3,000.00

(2 days)                                                          AC: P5,100.00               AC: 3,600.00

Introduction to detoxifacation                  Non AC: P12,500.00      Non AC: 9, 700.00

(7 days)                                                         AC: P14,500.00             AC: 11,700.00

Basic detox (no special problems)            Non AC: P20,000.00      Non AC: 15,500.00

(12 days)                                                        AC: P23,500.00              AC: 19,000.00

Deeper healing                                        

(Deep detox for chronic diseases             Non AC: P36,000.00      Non AC: 27,500.00

and significant problem)                                  AC: P42,500.00             AC: 34,000.00
(21 days)

Thorough treatment for so-called           21 days charge & extra           21 days charge &extra       
terminal diseases and very serious   days charge at P1,600 per day   days charge at P1,200 per day

stubborn conditions                         Plus other extra charges            Plus other extra charges  (More than 21 days)                        AC: P300 per day                        AC: P300 per day


When I had my vacation last year, I did colonema and mud pack with mama and my daughter.  This year, we are already booked during weekends for some detoxification specially for mama.  I will keep you guys posted on any updates of their services and facilities.

Ananda Marga is not a posh wellness center as compared to others which offer the same services. Ananda Marga is an affordable yet a cozy place to stay healthy, the natural way.

For more information about Ananda Marga Wellness Center, please visit their website at
http://www.amwellness.org/index.html. Or call (006332)236-4797 and look for Savitre.

If you find this article helpful, kindly tick on the reactions. Thank you for visiting my blog. Till then.

Please note that I am not paid in any kind to give my opinion about Ananda Marga Wellness Center.





           




                                                    



  


      


















                                                   

                       







Friday, June 3, 2011

I love you Mama (Mama, a breast cancer survivor)

My mother is the most loving mother in the whole world.  We all say so to our mothers.  I vividly remember when I was a kid, how she took care of us her 4 precious ones.  Me, being the eldest and the only rose among the thorn, has no rival in terms of girly stuff except Mama.  If she has stuff that I like, I would ask her to give it to me even though at times I know she wanted to keep it for herself but she lovingly gave way to me.

Last quarter of 2007 she complained of a mass on her left breast.  We took her to the outpatient department of a hospital and right then and there, the doctor advised for a needle biopsy or the fine needle aspiration.  I can see the pain in mama’s eyes when tears fell silently as the needle was inserted into her breast for the biopsy.  The test showed negative results but the doctor said that further test be done as the needle biopsy is not that much accurate in detecting cancer cells.

Let’s be in the know:

What is breast cancer?

The term “breast cancer” refers to a malignant tumor that has developed from cells in the breast. Usually breast cancer either begins in the cells of the lobules, which are the milk-producing glands, or the ducts, the passages that drain milk from the lobules to the nipple. Less commonly, breast cancer can begin in the stromal tissues, which include the fatty and fibrous connective tissues of the breast.

A tumor can be benign (not dangerous to health) or malignant (has the potential to be dangerous). Benign tumors are not considered cancerous: their cells are close to normal in appearance, they grow slowly, and they do not invade nearby tissues or spread to other parts of the body. Malignant tumors are cancerous. Left unchecked, malignant cells eventually can spread beyond the original tumor to other parts of the body.Breast profile:
A Ducts
B Lobules
C Dilated section of duct to hold milk
D Nipple
E Fat
F Pectoralis major muscle
G Chest wall/rib cage

Enlargement
A Normal duct cells
B Basement membrane
C Lumen (center of duct)


Breast cancer is always caused by a genetic abnormality (a “mistake” in the genetic material). However, only 5-10% of cancers are due to an abnormality inherited from your mother or father. About 90% of breast cancers are due to genetic abnormalities that happen as a result of the aging process and the “wear and tear” of life in general.  (breastcancer.org)

What is a fine needle aspiration?  

Fine needle aspiration is a non-surgical form of breast biopsy in which a small needle is used to withdraw a sample of cells from the breast lump. If the lump is a cyst (fluid-filled sac), removal of the fluid will cause the cyst to collapse. If the lump is solid, cells can be smeared onto slides for examination. (webMD).

My mother is the nervous type of person who is afraid of  blood, needles, hospital, etc in short  she did not agree with another test.  Few months passed, my aunt, a doctor based in Germany had her vacation on January of 2008.  I asked Aunt Ida to convince mama to have another set of laboratory tests and biopsy which after months of much debate, she finally agreed. As the lump on her left breast grew bigger, a frozen biopsy was scheduled.  The doctor advised that if the result is positive of cancer, then they will proceed with the operation.  Without the knowledge of my mother of what the doctor and the siblings have agreed, my mom went to the operating table with a positive attitude that it's only a benign tumor and not malignant or cancerous. Hours of waiting came the result, she has  malignant cancer cells and has spread to the axillary lymph nodes under the arm and near the breastbone, stage IIIA cancer. The doctor proceeded with the breast operation and took the entire left breast with a tumor the size of an egg together with few lymph nodes. The procedure is called mastectomy.

STAGES OF BREAST CANCER

Stage 0

Stage 0 is used to describe non-invasive breast cancers, such as DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ). In stage 0, there is no evidence of cancer cells or non-cancerous abnormal cells breaking out of the part of the breast in which they started, or getting through to or invading neighboring normal tissue.

Stage I

Stage I describes invasive breast cancer (cancer cells are breaking through to or invading normal surrounding breast tissue) in which:
  • the tumor measures up to 2 cm AND
  • no lymph nodes are involved
Microscopic invasion is possible in stage I breast cancer. In microscopic invasion, the cancer cells have just started to invade the tissue outside the lining of the duct or lobule, but the invading cancer cells can't measure more than 1 mm.

Stage II

Stage II is divided into subcategories known as IIA and IIB.
Stage IIA describes invasive breast cancer in which:
  • no tumor can be found in the breast, but cancer cells are found in the lymph nodes under the arm (axillary) OR
  • the tumor measures 2 cm or smaller and has spread to the axillary lymph nodes OR
  • the tumor is larger than 2 cm but not larger than 5 cm and has not spread to the axillary lymph nodes
Stage IIB describes invasive breast cancer in which:
  • the tumor is larger than 2 cm but no larger than 5 cm and has spread to the axillary lymph nodes OR
  • the tumor is larger than 5 cm but has not spread to the axillary lymph nodes

Stage III

Stage III is divided into subcategories known as IIIA, IIIB, and IIIC.
Stage IIIA describes invasive breast cancer in which either:
  • no tumor is found, but cancer is found in axillary lymph nodes, which are clumped together or sticking to other structures, or cancer may have spread to lymph nodes near the breastbone OR
  • the cancer is any size and has spread to axillary lymph nodes, which are clumped together or sticking to other structures
Stage IIIB describes invasive breast cancer in which:
  • the cancer may be any size and has spread to the chest wall and/or skin of the breast AND
  • may have spread to axillary lymph nodes, which are clumped together or sticking to other structures, or cancer may have spread to lymph nodes near the breastbone
Inflammatory breast cancer is considered at least stage IIIB. Typical features of inflammatory breast cancer include:
  • reddening of a large portion of the breast skin
  • the breast feels warm and may be swollen
  • cancer cells have spread to the lymph nodes and may be found in the skin
Stage IIIC describes invasive breast cancer in which:
  • there may be no sign of cancer in the breast or, if there is a tumor, it may be any size and may have spread to the chest wall and/or the skin of the breast AND
  • the cancer has spread to lymph nodes above or below the collarbone AND
  • the cancer may have spread to axillary lymph nodes or to lymph nodes near the breastbone

Stage IV

Stage IV describes invasive breast cancer that has spread beyond the breast and nearby lymph nodes to other organs of the body, such as the lungs, distant lymph nodes, skin, bones, liver, or brain.
You may hear the words “advanced” and “metastatic” used to describe stage IV breast cancer. Cancer may be stage IV at first diagnosis or it can be a recurrence of a previous breast cancer that has spread to other parts of the body.

We lack the financial capacity to continue with the procedure but we hold on to our faith in God.  After hours at the operating table and  recovery room, she was transferred to her room where she  finally woke up, groggy and in pain.  She asked where she was and still no idea of the operation done to her except for the frozen biopsy.  Two days after, she overheard my brother and the doctor discussing her condition and the operation, it was then that she knew she no longer have her left breast.  She cried.
Of the supposed 6 cycles of chemotherapy, Mama was only able to have 4 sessions for the reasons 1) as she said she cannot take it anymore         2) we lack the finances to continue.

Few months after, she mentioned that her left breast bone was swollen and protruding, thus, had it massaged by a traditional manghihilot (a local person who gives massage).  I was worried because the swelling did not subside and she complained of pain already.  As I am already working abroad, I was not there to personal check on her but I managed to call them almost everyday or thru skype.  I told her to go to the doctor and have the test.  Hard headed as ever, mama refused because she said we don't have money to pay this and that  blah blah blah.  I sent money for all the tests and it was then that we found out that her breast cancer has metastasized to her bone, bone cancer now. I then went home to attend to her radiation treatment. She completed the 25 days radiation treatment with flying colors but another test showed her left lung was affected - lung cancer. She continued her Tamoxifen.

Months have passed, I asked mama to visit again her doctor because of her complains.  The radiation on her breast bone was successful in inhibiting the growth of the cancer cells but unfortunately, it has spread to both lungs now.  This time mama's cancer is Stage 4, the final stage.  Doctor said she will have 6 months to a year to live. My world fell apart.

I remember when I was still a kid, how she showed her love to us by preparing our meals before she goes to work and prepare our dinner when she arrives from work. When the time we don't have a house helper, she does all the household chores (she is very tidy and hates clutter in the house), wash our clothes and attend to us when we were sick.  Maybe we are not able to appreciate all the hardships and sacrifices of our mother until we come of age  and looking back, realizes that she gave her all for the love of her children.

It was just recently that I started saying "I love you Mama"as often as I can because before I am shy to tell her that but now, I have to and I want her to know how much I love her and that I appreciated her love and sacrifices even though, many times I have hurt her feelings. Time is running out, she may not be with us more than how we should have wanted her to be with us longer.  Only God knows.  Since I knew of her limited time with us, I am slowly building memories with Mama. A memory I will treasure when she will be at the other side of the world with God, pain-free and in peace.

When I go home for vacation this year, I will bring her to Hong Kong, a promise I made to myself to let her experience out of the country tour.  God willing. I hope she will be in good health as this will be her first trip out of the country and hopefully not the last.  Every time I call her, I always remind her to take her medicines so she can have all the health in the world during our trip. One time she told me, you know, I might not be able to go with you because of my health condition, I told her, you should not say that and be positive.
All throughout our fight with her cancer, God has never abandoned us and unconditionally poured His love and support through His angels on earth. There were times that we were down to nothing but somebody will just show up to help us in so many ways.  We brought Mama to healing prayers to help her spiritual and emotional struggles. Mama is a better person now with less stress and can see a glowing face with positive outlook in life.  Her faith in God is what made her strong. She is fighting a good fight with this thing called - breast cancer.

                                                                  I love you Mama

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Divorce or Annulment - which is which?

Since Malta voted yes to divorce and left the Philippines as the only country with no divorce law, this brought chaos between the STATE and the CHURCH as the church is against divorce and calls it anti-Filipino. The church is against divorce but permits annulment of marriage.

Legal terminologies are so high falloting and my limited understanding can't seem to grasp everything. Let's boil down the terms divorce and annulment in layman's term and see the difference between the two.

What is annulment?

Annulment is a legal procedure for declaring a marriage null and void. An annulled marriage is considered to be invalid from the beginning almost as if it had never taken place. In effect, it nullifies the marriage, returning the parties to their prior single status.

Generally, for a marriage to be considered null and void, one the following grounds must be met.

1) A marriage was entered into fraudulently e.g. criminal history, sexually transmitted disease, concealment of impotence, etc.

2) One party was still legally married when the marriage occurred.

3) One of the spouse entered into marriage under threat, force or intimidation.

4) Close blood relationships between parties.

5) Lack of parental consent or under age.

6) One of the spouse's didn't have the mental capacity to enter into a marriage contract. (e.g. due to drunkenness or mental disability) - most used ground in annulment

What is divorce?

Divorce is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties. In most countries divorce requires the sanction of a court or other authority in a legal process. The legal process for divorce may also involve issues of spousal support, child custody, child support, distribution of property and division of debt. This allows each former partner to marry another.

IN this case, a divorce does not declare a marriage null and void, as in an annulment, but it does cancel the married status of the parties. To further our understanding between annulment and divorce, let me give you examples of each.

1)  A friend of mine in the Philippines filed an annulment of marriage. She got married at an early age. Since then, she has been a battered wife, emotionally and physically. After 7 years of marriage, she then finally decided to end the abuse she received from her husband and filed an annulment of marriage. So many steps had been taken before filing for annulment. She has to go to a psychologist to prove all the physical and emotional abuses she received from her husband so she can file the annulment under the grounds of psychological incapacity. To make the annulment worse, the husband contested and so the battle between the then couple started. Child custody, child support, visitation rights, etc. It has been 3 years now but no decree of annulment has been granted. The painful waiting and the legal battle is still ongoing.

2)  Another Filipino friend of mine living in the US filed for divorce. They were married in the Philippines. Both parties agreed and filed the divorce amicably. Three months after the filing, the divorce decree has been granted.

3)  Another Filipino friend of mine filed a divorce in the US. Her then husband contested and did not sign the divorce papers. It took her seven months before she has been granted of the divorce. If one party does not sign the papers, it is the discretion of the Judge to decide on the divorce.

Isn't it that annulment is too complicated than divorce? Isn't it that in annulment, one will have to endure the emotional stress. The stress of having to prove that you or the other party is mentally incapacitated. More often than not, annulment take years to be finally granted meaning, one must have to endure the cost of annulment to continue with the legal battle.

Filipinos are not all catholics. There are other denominations that allows divorce. Why does the catholic church dictates what is good or not for the people? If a battered wife or husband (yes, husband as there are quite a number of them too) has gone insane because of an abusive relationship, is there anything that the church can do to help the person emotionally and financially? generally, NONE. All of these just so because the church is not in favor of divorce.

Going public about the dirt of your marriage is not easy. One has to endure criticisms from people who even don't have a bit of idea of the root of the problem but are just good in judging and criticizing. They can't even clean their own backyards but yet are good in throwing insults and judgement to others. Being judged of things you did not even do is more emotionally draining.

Don't get me wrong, I am a Catholic and I believe and fear God. I am pro RH bill, why? Because our country is already over populated and government has to do something with the population growth. I am pro-life and denounces abortion. I am pro divorce as this can help a person end an abusive marriage from a brutal partner and not prolonging the agony unlike annulment.

Gone are the days of the martyrs and the Maria Claras. If one wants to be forever binded with an abusive relationship, then by all means, go ahead and make another Luneta and have your statue stand in honor of you. You may agree or disagree with my opinion. But this is my opinion and I am free to say what I want to say.

God gave us the freewill to do what we want to do. We are intellectual beings. We should know what is right from wrong. We have all the chance in the world to correct our mistakes. And the second chance to be happy in our life, with or without a partner.

If you have not experienced this marital abuse, good for you, you are blessed. If you are one of those who are or had been into an abusive relationship, I am with you. I know the feeling. I have been there, once.

No one has the right to judge me. And no one can judge me except MY GOD.