Forgive and forget

Forgive to forget or forgive and forget?

These are two different things. In my own opinion, forgive to forget is that when you forgave the person who hurts you so that you can forget what has happened whereas, forgive and forget is when you forgave the person and forget about the pain and everything. Personally, I prefer the latter.

I remember an elder in our community said,” yes I forgave the person but I can’t forget what she has done to me”. See what I mean?

Can you really forgive a person and forget about everything?

I have been trying to finish this article the soonest possible time that I can but can’t seem to find and grasp the right words to express what’s in the deepest of my heart. The past few days were spent on soul searching about my life journey’s mischievous trick. Or say mischievous tricks?

It’s really not easy to let your emotions out but it does “me” good when I actually let go and accept things that were beyond my control. Took me a lot of prayer, outpouring of emotions, letting my emotions go with the emotional flow (your guess is right or did you guess?) until I am left with nothing but forgiveness and inner peace. Well, I’m just human so it’s not 100% yet but I know I’m on my way to emotional healing and my goal of – forgive and forget - forgive (99% in progress) and forget (70% in progress).

When someone hurts you, the first thing that you will feel is betrayal followed by anger, distrust, and all the negative emotions that come with it.

It may take a long time to work up the courage and strength to forgive that person and forget what happened, especially if you were hurt by someone whom you gave your love, trust and your all.

For some, forgive and forget is a cliché. And forgiving the person who has wronged you and forgetting the pain brought by it may just be unrealistic or nearly impossible.

The course and road to healing depends on the person involved. It’s not easy, really not easy. A lot of things must be considered like emotion, anger, the pain, the feeling of betrayal and distrust before finally getting to the final stage of recovery and emotional healing.

In order to forgive someone, you must want and have the desire to forgive the person.

Support system really helps a lot, if there is. But it’s not always that you can open up everything to your family as you also don’t want to hurt them specially if they were already hurt of the situation. You need a friend or someone who understands you and what you have been going through. And, I’m glad I have a brutally frank friend, who stood by me and gave me all the emotional support that I need. Though many times, I contradicted her opinions and still follow my heart out, still, her mere presence, solicited and unsolicited advices kept me sane and helped me a lot throughout my - ordeal.

As what I have said earlier, it’s not easy. Everyday I tell myself that I forgave and has forgiven the person who has wronged me, and it’s true, I did. When you accept things which you can’t do anything about to change the course of event, eventually, forgiveness will follow. Instead of hatred in my heart, I feel inner peace is slowing taking its place . But forgetting is more complicated than what I thought because, however I tried to forget, memories still find its way to me, the good ones and the not so good ones. I want to keep the good ones of course and blow the bad ones in the wind – poof! and say bye-bye bad memories.

Life is too short to hold grudges and harbor ill feelings. There’s a lot of beautiful things around you. Your life, career, family, friends, people who care about you and most importantly, what life what has to offer. Instead of crying over spilled milk, why not live life to the fullest? Learn to accept things, move on and live the lessons of life by heart. Not easy though but attainable, slowly but surely, in time.

As I always tell myself, be POSITIVE. My trials? This too shall pass. It’s just another icing on the cake.

The road may not be easy as we encounter lots of detour. A detour is only a detour and not the end of the road and everything. There will always be that road that will lead and bring us to the right and final destination.

Tell the person who wronged you that you forgave him. He may need it too and just leave the past behind.

Life is a journey. Forgive and forget.

This too shall pass

There comes a time that we are caught in the crossroads of our lives. We are confused and don't know which road to follow. So many things to consider before making a decision. Decisions that need an inner voice to help us go through it and hopefully make the right one, according to what your heart is telling you. A decision that will lead you to heal some wounds that eventually will lead to inner peace and joy, in time. That, after doing what your heart is telling you, there will be no regret whatsoever when the time comes when you have to look back in time, you can wear always a smile and say, I have made the right turn and choice.

There are trials that are too heavy a load on our shoulder that, at times, we feel like raising our hands to surrender and quit the fight. Should we quit and let go or should we move on?

Letting go of something precious like your career of so many years for a better opportunity and career growth,  a hobby because you cannot afford to continue doing so, maybe a lifestyle that has to be downgraded because of the global crisis, a friendship, a precious thing with sentimental value that you keep in your heart or a relationship that once you thought was worth fighting for.

In this noisy, unpredictable and chaotic world, we should not lose our focus and aspire for what we think is good and best for us.

God will never give us trials that are beyond our capacity. Though others are not strong enough to face the challenge and resort to drastic moves like taking their own lives. Some just curl themselves up in one corner with an unending crying, grumbling, whining, complaining, hating and pitying themselves and simply quit on moving forward as if it's the end of everything. And there are those who are blessed with a strong heart and soul to stand up  and fight a good fight with life and never surrender until life shows them mercy.

Whatever the challenge that we are facing at the moment, we should always remind ourselves and remember that quitting and giving up is not the best solution. Though it takes a very strong soul with a courageous heart, will and determination to keep us moving. Whether the answer to our quest is a no or maybe, we should not lose hope but keep on reaching for that star. Easier said than done ha? But at least we tried, isn't it? Better than not trying and doing nothing at all.

The only thing that is constant in this world is change. If this is so, we should embrace change in our lives and take it in a positive way. If we fail in our endeavor, take it as another challenge and think of it as a lesson in life and learn from it. Some of us does not always learn from our mistakes and human as we are, we tend to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. On one hand, it's the mistake that makes us a better person.

A good friend of mine used to tell me these proverbial phrases "there is always a light at the end of the tunnel" and "behind every dark cloud, there is a silver lining".

Life's trials? Let's face it one day at a time with God's grace, mercy, love and guidance. All of these will come to pass.

My trials? This too shall pass.

Where were YOU when I needed YOU most?

The past weeks were spent on emotional struggles but, I was able to compose myself and organize my thoughts by talking to God through PRAYERS. I thought I have overcome those dramas in my life not until what happened today. I received a call from my daughter telling me that my dad was admitted in the hospital due to difficulty in breathing. He is on oxygen for LIFE.

Before I went for vacation last June 2011, my dad was admitted to the hospital for the same reason, difficulty in breathing. Few days before my vacation, my mom was hospitalized because of too much pain brought by her bone cancer. Breathing for mama was a struggle at that time. When I arrived in the Philippines, we immediately started her radiation therapy.

I remember while having my vacation this year, Mama told me, all of you were focusing your attention on me and you forgot about your father. He is also sick and needs your attention too. I was taken aback by Mama's words because truth of the matter is, she's right, we forgot that our father is also seriously sick and need our love and care. We were too focused on how to cope up with Mama's battle with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.

After the call from my daughter, I searched my feelings for any guilt, sadness or maybe an emotional outburst. But what came to my mind were some questions.

WHAT and WHY?

What's my purpose in coming to Saudi Arabia? My conscience whispered, "because you have to support your family back home, your daughter and your sick parents.

If you were in the Philippines, can you send your mother for radiation therapies? Can you buy them at least some of the maintenance medicines? Can you share some in buying your father's oxygen? Can you send your daughter to school and support her needs? Can you put a decent food on your family's table?" - TRUE. If I wasn't here, maybe my mother is in too much pain these days caused by her breast cancer.

If you were in the Philippines, can you go to places where before were just a dream for you? - RIGHT. I am able to make some of my dreams come true.

Then why I still feel so alone, that sometimes I felt the world is crushing in on my shoulder? Why is it that many times I feel nobody is there for me, to comfort me? Suddenly, this poem came as a lightning to me.

As I always tell myself, God will never give me trials that I cannot handle. There are a thousand and one reasons behind every trials. Everything will come to pass, soon. After the storm comes Ms. Sunshine. I am reminding myself again,  BE POSITIVE. I can do this.

Hotel hopping: Venetian Hotel - Macau Escapade part 6

 

The Venetian Hotel, Macau.

I chose the Venetian Hotel over the other hotels as our last stop before going back to Hong Kong as I have been to the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas. I want to see the difference between the two hotels. I also want my daughter to experience a little of Vegas thru Venetian hotel.

                                                                    The Opera singer.

The Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas is bigger with more attractions but Venetian Macau is good. Well, what do you expect? it's Las Vegas! But, they say that Macau is the mini Las Vegas.

Hotel Hopping: Galaxy Hotel - Macau Escapade part 5

                                                             The Galaxy Hotel, Macau.

                                                                               The grand lobby.

                         Here, we met Cindy, a Filipina who worked  in China as an English teacher.

Excuse me!!!

                                    See you more of Macau hotel hopping on Macau Escapade part 6.

Hotel hopping: Lisboa Hotel - Macau Escapade part 4

We were only able to visit three hotels because of limited time. We need to be at the ferry terminal before 7:30 p.m.to catch the last trip back to Hong Kong. Nevertheless, it was fun.

First stop - The Grand Lisboa Hotel

                               I am not able to take pictures of the casino because it's prohibited.

                                 See you more of Macau hotels on Macau Escapade part 5

A-Ma Temple - Macau Escapade part 3

After an hour of waiting for the right bus, I mean with the right bus driver who understands a little english and more of the sign language, we were on our way to our first stop in Macau - the A-Ma temple.

A-Ma temple is the oldest temple in Macau.

It was constructed in the year of 1488 of the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644) to commemorate Mazu, the sacred sea goddess who blesses the fishermen of Macau.

It is said that the goddess was called Lin Mo, and that she was born in Putian City, Fujian Province, and was more intelligent than other children her age. She could predict good or ill luck and after her death she often helped merchants and fishermen ward off calamities and turn danger into safety

                                                           See you more of Macau on part 4